The Small Family     

Well, it’s a good thing I posted last week’s blog early, because at the tail end of last week, we got an ominous visitor that kept me quite occupied…[insert menacing music here]…the stomach flu! Yes, my friends, we got it again. Well, Theo did. Chris and I never got it the first time, and Theo’s cleared up in time for our lovely trip to Disneyland. But as I mentioned on our Disneyland blog post, he was very quiet and mellow on the drive home. Now I know why!

We drove home Tuesday, and when my Mom came over to watch him Wednesday morning (I had a conference call) and then go to lunch, he was uncharacteristically sleepy and droopy. I attributed it at first to being tired after all the excitement of our trip…until Thursday morning, when all hell broke loose gastrointestinally for the poor little guy. Thursday he barely got off the couch, but he would occasionally wander around the downstairs, and I did get him to play a game with me. He was sick quite a few times, but nothing too dire.

Friday was worse. He was sick many, many times. He would literally eat one Saltine cracker and then get sick. Worse still, by late afternoon, he couldn't even take more than a couple licks of a PediaLyte popsicle without getting sick. He wouldn’t drink anything, and he barely moved all day--just laid on the couch. He wouldn’t even walk to the bathroom by himself--he’d take one step and then start to cry and ask to be carried. We’d sit him on the toilet, and his eyes were only half-open, and he was kind of reeling back and forth. I talked to a Kaiser doctor in the early evening who gave the usual, “Just keep him hydrated!” refrain, but that was getting harder and harder to do, since you can’t force-feed a three-year-old liquid, and he wasn’t taking the popsicles. By 8:30 p.m., he was throwing up, and we were afraid to put him to bed, for fear he’d get dangerously dehydrated in the middle of the night without us knowing it. At that point, we decided, “The heck with Kaiser advice! We pay for medical insurance so that if we need it, it’s there. Our son is frighteningly ill with this, so we’re going to take him in and make sure he’s okay.”

Now, if Kaiser had any sort of after-hours facility other than the emergency room, we wouldn’t have gone to the ER, since it wasn’t a life-and-death issue. But they don’t, so off to the ER we went. As it happened, it was a pretty quiet night in the ER, and the nurses were all extremely nice and told us it was good that we had brought him in. They ran a urine test and found excess protein and ketones in his urine, which indicated dehydration and malnutrition (yikes!!) from the illness. But the good part of it all was that they gave him an anti-nausea drug (orally), and once that kicked in, he started drinking water and taking a PediaLyte Popsicle again. Whew! And although it was late and he was very tired, he perked up noticeably once he had some fluids back in him. (And for those who are wondering, he did not require catheterization to get the urine sample--he peed in a cup, just like a big boy…albeit with much protest.)

They sent us home with more anti-nausea meds, but we never did have to give him anymore. Once we got him over the hump and drinking again, he got progressively better, and by Tuesday he was good as new. It was kind of reassuring, though--before we left the ER, one of the nurses came and said, “If he gets any worse or even just doesn’t get better soon, bring him right back in here. Don’t mess around, and don’t feel like you’re bothering us. Just get him back in. If he was my son, that’s what I’d do.” So it was good to hear that we hadn’t been neurotic freaks by coming into the ER. I do wish Kaiser had some sort of after-hours care that wasn’t the ER, but c’est la vie.

Anyway, this time I did not escape the Curse of the Stomach Flu. I thought I had, but then I went to dinner with an old friend on Saturday night, feeling mostly fine, got home, and within two hours of getting home felt awful. I had the worst case of chills I can remember having (I had a hard time even getting myself into the bathtub, because my legs were shaking so badly), a fever, aching joints, and nausea so bad that I turned into a junkie mother who raided her son’s anti-nausea meds for her own benefit! (I only took one, though, so I’m not too awful! Heck--they were there, and he wasn’t using them!) Luckily, I, too, was better by Tuesday. Chris seemed to catch a mild case of it with fever and nausea, but he never actually got full-on sick, the lucky devil.

But aside from the Evil Stomach Plague, we had an excellent week. Because Theo was sick last Friday, we rescheduled his preschool visit for this Friday (two days ago). And wow, what a great experience! Theo did just absolutely, incredibly, amazingly terrific, leaving Chris and I feeling all warm and fuzzy about our choice of preschools. When we got there, Theo was a bit nervous at first, looking around wide-eyed and clinging to my hand. But then one of the main teachers (there are four--this one was named Dorothy) came over to greet us, squatted down to talk to Theo, and asked him if he wanted to meet the school’s animals. He, of course, did, and after that he never came back to us for the entire 45 minutes we were there. He met the rat, the leopard gecko, the fish, the butterflies, and the baby chicks that were hatching. Then he spied some of the neat activities and wandered off to take one off the shelf. One of the other teachers (Beth) said, “I’ll work with him,” and she sat down to show him how to work with the activity--it was a bunch of items in different colors that the child could sort into the appropriately colored circles. After she showed him the object, Theo sat and did the entire activity, then put it back on the shelf, prompting Dorothy (who was now talking to Chris and I as we observed) to say, “Wow--he already knows to put it back before getting something else out!” Ha ha, wish I could take credit for that! Well, in a way we can, I guess--he has a lot of things he can play with at will that just get put back in the toy box eventually, but he has other games and things that we have him put away before he can get another one out. I didn’t really think it was sinking in, since it’s sort of a work in progress, but maybe it was???  

The next activity he took out was tangrams--little flat plastic shapes (sort of like different-shaped tiles) of different colors that the child can place on a pattern on a piece of paper. He sat for quite a while working on that activity, too, and Dorothy commented that the precision with which he was placing the appropriate pieces in place suggested some math aptitude. (Don’t ask me to expand on that, as I’m not really sure how or why it shows math aptitude. And if it does, he got that from Chris, not me!!)

After finishing that and putting it away, he saw the snack table. The school has snacks out all the time, and the children can serve themselves and take the snack to the designated place to eat it. (A huge part of Montessori is self-directed activity, thus the child’s access to get his own snack at any time that he wants it during the day.) They have a picture up showing the items the student can place on his plate--on this day, it was two strawberries, one cracker, one piece of cheese, and three pretzel pieces. This way, the child gets a healthful, balanced snack, but it also teaches numbers and counting. So Beth showed Theo the chart and how to count out his items, and he happily prepared his plate and took it to the snack table.

Beth sat down next to Theo while he ate his snack and said, “Are you thirsty?” Theo said yes, so she showed him the pitcher of water and cups on the table and asked if he’d like to learn how to pour it. Again, he said yes, so she poured herself a glass of water, showing him how to hold the pitcher by the handle, put another hand on the bottom to steady it, and pour water into the glass. What’s remarkable about this is that Montessori doesn’t use child-friendly utensils and such--they believe in using adult items sized appropriately for children. So the pitcher was a real glass pitcher (with no top on it), and the glasses were real glasses. As Theo started to pour his own drink, it was very obvious that he was going to spill it. Beth mouthed to Chris and me, who were standing off in the corner observing, “It’s okay.” Theo managed to pour some water without spilling, but then he knocked the cup over accidentally. Now, at home this would’ve brought on a complete meltdown. No matter how calm Chris and I try to be about things like that, Theo gets so, so frustrated when he can’t do something exactly right the first time. But at the school, he just looked a bit surprised and said, “Uh oh.” Beth said, “Looks like you got a little more water than you wanted! Let me show you how we clean it up.” And instead of doing it herself, she handed Theo the sponge that sits on the table, demonstrated how to use a sponge to mop up the mess, and then had him clean the entire thing up on his own. She then showed him where the sink was and how to wring out the sponge, which he did. And then he sat back down and enjoyed his snack. When he finished, we left--though he’s been asking to go back ever since!

I love the calm approach they use--and I saw this with the other students as well. No one was getting flustered about anything--everything was just very matter-of-fact, and the children were all going about their “work” independently. (Montessori calls the activities “work” rather than “play” to distinguish these independent activities from group things such as circle time, story time, outdoor play, etc.) And the funny thing is, when Chris and I first visited the school a few months ago, we both thought, “Theo is going to do very well in this environment, once he gets used to it”--but we wondered how the teachers would go about getting him to understand finishing one activity before starting the next and doing things in any sort of structured style (like they way they get their snacks). But, we reasoned, the teachers are used to teaching the kids how to do this, so undoubtedly they’ve got it under control--after all, the kids we saw at the school were all going about their “work” very calmly and happily. So it was quite a surprise to us to see just how flawlessly Theo settled into the pattern of the program, even in just a short 45-minute burst. We figured there would be quite an adjustment at first, but he took to it like a fish to water. (This isn’t to say there won’t be adjustments when he’s actually going regularly a couple of days a week; it’s just to say that we were shocked to see how at ease he seemed with everything right away. He never once came back to us for reassurance or anything--just happily went about doing his thing with minimal guidance from Teacher Beth.)

Really, I think a lot of it has to do with his fierce independence. A program like this, that really focuses on letting children be self-directed (with some limits, of course), is probably right up his alley. I wonder if he didn’t melt down about spilling the water because he was so happy that he was getting to do it on his own, like a big boy. I’m not an overly hands-on mother in terms of doing everything for Theo--on the contrary, I try to encourage his independence as much as possible. He’s been getting his own snacks for months, and I only require him to eat it at the kitchen table and put one away before he gets another out. But still, I can’t say I’d ever thought to let him pour his own drink from a pitcher. Maybe that little extra bit of independence was just what he needed.

Anyway, we left our orientation absolutely delighted with how it went, and we’re looking forward to getting Theo started in July if they do a summer program. (They’re still working out the details--if not, he’ll start in August/Sept.)

Friday continued to be a big, fun day because after Theo’s nap, Grandma Kathy and Grandpa Tom arrived for a birthday visit! Theo’s birthday is actually this Tuesday, but we celebrated over the weekend so the grandparents could be a part of it. Theo was delighted to see Grandma and Papa, and he roped Grandma into playing his games with him several times. (He has an alphabet-matching one, a number-matching one, and a shape-matching one, and he’s rather obsessed with them lately.)

We had a yummy seafood dinner at Fins, and then I spent the rest of Friday evening decorating Theo’s cake! When I was a little girl, my Mom always made me the neatest birthday cakes. They were just sheet cakes, but she would draw the coolest decorations on the top of them. I always loved that, so I want to do the same thing for Theo. This year, I decided on Mickey Mouse, since we were just at Disneyland.  Theo actually wanted Minnie Mouse, but I couldn’t find a Minnie pan. I finally decided I could just make a bow out of rolled-out, decorated sugar-cookie dough and put some eyelashes on Mickey (thus doing gender-reassignment surgery on a cake!), but when Theo saw Mickey all baked, he was pleased and decided he wanted Mickey instead. So, Mickey it was!

I made a clown-vomit cake for the inside. Weird name, right? It’s actually called a rainbow cake, but it’s informally referred to as a “clown-vomit cake” because it looks like a circus exploded on the inside of it. And homemade buttercream icing for the top….

Theo was a big fan, and he looked a bit like a Goth, with black lips and fingers from the black icing that he kept digging into!

We actually served the cake on Saturday--we had Grandma Diane come over to join Grandma Kathy and Papa and the rest of us. Chris made his delicious chicken tacos (they’re chicken, zucchini, corn, and avocado--yum!), which we all loved. Well, all of us except Theo, who made a fun face when he tried them. You’ll see a picture of it in this week’s album.

Theo, of course, made out like a bandit thanks to his doting grandparents, and he has two more presents coming on Tuesday from Chris and me--his very own digital camera (it’s a kid one, but it does store pictures for review, just like a regular digital camera) and a puzzle. And, he made out like a bandit again on Sunday morning, when Auntie Jeanette came over to have breakfast and bring him a few more nifty presents.

Two more items before I wrap up this very long blog. First, I’m very proud to announce that Chris had his annual review this week, and he knocked it out of the park! His boss informed him that he had “a kick-ass year” and gave him a 10% raise! Chris hasn’t had a raise in a few years, so this was very deserved, and very much appreciated. The extra money per month works out to be about two-thirds of what Theo’s preschool will cost, so that’s going to be a big help to us. Way to go, honey!!

And finally, my brother-in-law, Charles, had his cancer surgery on Thursday. The doctors were able to remove the entire tumor and take less of the soft palate out than originally planned, so that’s good news. He is, however, having a bit of a rough recovery. He has to re-learn how to swallow, as he has a big hole in his throat, and water either goes up his nose or down his windpipe, so he feels as if he’s drowning. And he had some problems with a lot of vomiting the first night after the surgery, so that’s no good. And he does still need radiation and chemo. But still--getting the entire tumor out is a very good start to recovery, so we’re all happy about that.

Until next week…enjoy the lovely spring weather, if you have it! It’s beautiful around here lately…. And last but not least, happy, happy, happy birthday to my awesome, super, terrific, crazy, wonderful little boy!