The Small Family     

I can’t believe Christmas is almost here already! I think December actually becomes shorter after you have a child--Christmas sneaks up before you know it!

I’m pleased to report that I did get our cards out, so hopefully you’ve gotten yours by now--and if you haven’t, it’s a likely sign that I don’t have your address! Be glad that I opted for the timeline approach instead of a Christmas letter--the typical letter turned out to be more than two pages in a very small font, and after trying unsuccessfully to decide what to chop, I finally scrapped the whole thing and went for brevity. The problem was, we did so much this year--so many milestones with Theo, and we took several trips, too. So the recap letter just got to be painfully long, and I figured it would bore everyone to tears…. As you may have noticed from my blog posts, economy of words is not usually my strong point!

We had a very busy week around here, partly because of the Christmas scramble and partly because Chris was gone for a day and a half. He left the house Tuesday morning for work, as usual, but then he drove straight from work to Santa Rosa on Tuesday afternoon. He stayed overnight in Santa Rosa because he had a test there at 9 a.m. Wednesday, and Santa Rosa is a two-hour drive from our house with no traffic--on a workday morning, three hours wouldn’t have been surprising. So he had a lovely (although he says it was boring and too quiet) night in a hotel, while Theo and I held down the fort here. (I actually already had dinner plans with friends that night, so Grandma Diane was kind enough to come watch Theo for a couple hours so I didn’t have to cancel my dinner!)

In case you’re wondering about Chris’s test, it’s for a technical writing specialist position with the County of Sonoma. But the likelihood of us moving is slim to none. First, there was a lot of competition for the position--Chris estimated 60 other people taking the test. Second, we’re so incredibly upside down on our mortgage that there’s virtually no way we could move. Third, it would have to be an incredible offer from the County for us to even be able to consider it. And although technical writing traditionally pays much better than technical editing (which is what Chris currently does), it would have to be an amazing raise for us to consider it, and that’s not terribly likely from a government entity in California in this economy! Nevertheless, it never hurts to try, and Chris wanted to see whether he’d even pass the test. If he does, it’s perhaps a good idea for him to start looking harder at technical writing positions around here--sort of a “hey, you’re capable of this” reminder. I have little doubt that he passed the test, but I guess we’ll see when they get back to him.

In terms of the Christmas scramble, we’re all finished with our shopping and nearly finished with presents. Actually, it was easy this year because we were on a very tight budget, so it didn’t leave much room for shopping. A lot of our gifts this year are homemade, and we kept our budget small for Theo and picked up several of his presents when they were on sale some weeks back, so we didn’t have to brave the mall at the height of the shopping frenzy, thank god.

Actually, doing the homemade stuff was a lot of fun. It was borne out of necessity, but it ended up being fun, as such things usually are. My pay got “restructured” (translate: cut) near the end of last year, and now that we’re at the end of this year, it became apparent just how hard that hit was--about a 22% drop in income. Although we’re obviously able to pay our bills and enjoy some leisure activities, too, 22% hurt as much as it would hurt anyone still employed--that is, we’re far better off than people who’ve lost their jobs, but it was a painful cut. And so, we made a lot of adjustments in lifestyle (eating at home more, grocery shopping at food outlets, cutting the budget on “extras,” doing homemade Christmas gifts, etc.) to make up for it. No complaints, though--we are just thankful that we both still have jobs, since so many people would be happy to have any sort of job in this economic climate!

On the Theo front, all is well. He picked up a bit of my cold, but it isn’t bad (yet). I’m hopefully that he’ll kick it with little problem.

You may notice a lovely bruise on his face in some of the pictures this week. How he got it is kind of a funny story, if you can chuckle about a poor kid getting hurt. He fell off the toilet! As I mentioned some months ago, Theo is a very independent potty-goer, but one problem we have is that our toilets are a bit tall for him to easily get on. He has to use a stool and climb on. Well, in climbing on one day this week, he lost his grip and fell face-first onto the floor. Poor kid shrieked for about a minute, and the bruise popped out right away. But then he calmed down, and I set him back on the toilet. Here’s the funny part: I put him back on the toilet because (1) he needed to go; and (2) I didn’t want him to remember his last potty experience as “traumatic.” Well, he was furious that I would dare help him onto the toilet, so he screamed at me, climbed down off the toilet, gave me a dirty look, and promptly climbed back up on his own and did his business. How DARE you put me on the toilet, Mama! I can do it myself!!  I had to laugh at Mr. Stubborn Independence!

He’s actually always that way, and “Feo do it!” is a familiar refrain around here. This week, his Little Gym teacher commented, “Boy, is he ever entering the threes!” because he is showing that independent, “I can do it myself!” streak that three-year-olds have. Indeed. Chris and I had the same thought.

In other Theo news, the swearing issue is much improved as well. After trying every form of discipline and every motivator we could think of, we finally hit on something that REALLY motivates him: trips to the frozen yogurt store. He doesn’t care about anything else--he’d choose to use foul language and risk any other prize. But NOT the “ice cweam store,” as he calls it. So, we set up a sticker chart with the days divided into two-hour increments, and if he used nice words for the full two hours of each block, he’d get a sticker. If he got all his stickers for the day, he got a trip to the fro-yo store. I believe he managed three trips this week, which is a huge improvement! And the other days, he only slipped up a couple times. Luckily, weaning him off this daily prize should be easy, since next week we’ll be out of town a couple days, and then Christmas is in the mix. Should be easy to keep the fro-yo trips from becoming a routine.

But what I think is funny about this is that he can’t even eat the frozen yogurt, so he gets a cup of strawberries, blackberries, and mango with cereal or peanuts sprinkled on top. All of this he could (and does) get at home--but for him, it’s so much more fun at the “ice cweam store.” So essentially, we’re bribing our kid with an ultra-healthy snack that he could eat anytime he wanted it! Hmmm, methinks it won’t be too long before I won’t be able to bribe him with such healthful things. I shall enjoy it while it lasts!

Our “chill out” strategy in place of time outs (that is, he has to go to his room and can come out when he’s ready to behave) is working about a million times better than time outs, too. I’m kind of laughing because we’ve gotten a bit lectured about the fact that we’re not doing time outs correctly, because he has access to toys in his room, and that’s not how a time out is supposed to work. Well, true…but the bottom line is that time outs were a nightmare with him, and he took them as an opportunity to challenge and fight. And in fact, if we’d say, “Do you want a time out??” when he was misbehaving, he’d look us straight in the eye and say, “YES!” Talk about ineffective punishment--he couldn't care less about them.

But the chill-outs in his room have proved to be a great motivator for curbing negative behavior, because he hates them! Despite having access to his toys in there, he hates them. The minute he starts misbehaving and we say, “Do you need to go to your room?” nine times out of ten he’ll say, “No!” and immediately stop the negative behavior. Ah, bliss!! The truth is we don’t need to resort to them often, as he’s overall a really well-behaved little guy, but, like any 2-1/2-year-old, he has his moments. We’re just delighted that we’ve found a strategy that’s working so well, despite the fact that it’s “not the way you’re supposed to do it.” I think our overall parenting strategy has evolved into “whatever works!” ;-)

California is in the middle of about 10 days of storms, so we had to find some indoor fun this weekend. Saturday, we drove to Napa (which actually had better weather than Sacramento, perhaps surprisingly…) and went to the Scientopia children’s museum there. Theo had a ball, despite being a little mellower than normal due to not feeling 100%, and all of this week’s pictures are from there. On Sunday, we went to the Railroad Museum in the morning--very neat to see the place decorated for the holidays. And in the afternoon, we worked on our Christmas gifts.

Sorry to be a bit lacking in the pictures department this week, but I shall make up for it next week, with lots of Christmas adventure stories and pictures. I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas!