The Small Family     

First of all, Happy Fourth of July, everyone! I love Independence Day. I love fireworks, and I love summer (although not so much the extreme heat). And, as it turns out, Chris proposed on July 3, 2007, so we have a little anniversary, too. (He was going to propose on the 4th, but we were going to be watching fireworks in Boston, over the Charles River, and he figured I might not hear his question over all the cacophony!)

It’s rather fitting that it’s Independence Day, since Mr. Theo has emerged from his clingy stage and gone back to being Mr. Independent. Actually, the clingy stage didn’t last long--only a couple weeks. And I think, more than anything, it had to do with those two last molars coming in. The last one is this close to being fully in, so the end is in sight!

Theo also started floating independently this week. Well, let me back up for a minute: In the past, Theo has been able to float on his own when he wants to. And then he goes through weeks at a time where he doesn’t want to, and we take three steps back after our one step forward. Lately, he hasn’t been floating on his own. So this week, Theo decided to be a stinker in the pool on Monday, and Monica finally said, “Can I get tough with him?” I gave my permission, and she let go of tantrumming Theo, who promptly went underwater for a couple seconds, and then resurfaced, got his face above water and his body floating, released the breath he had been holding…and floated (screaming bloody murder as he did)! I was so proud and relieved that I actually started crying. (Yeah, yeah, I’m a softie.) And Monica let go several more times Tuesday and Wednesday, and he floated every time--albeit screaming at the top of his lungs. And they did some jumps off the steps, too, and Theo would turn himself over, get himself floating, and shriek at us all. Everyone around the pool was cheering and applauding (many of them have seen how long this process has been), and Theo just kept glaring at all of us as if to say, “You people disgust me! Why on earth are you happy about this injustice?”

So, lest any of you think I’m cruel for letting Monica get tough on Theo, I shall explain. First of all, in the two summers I’ve had him in these lessons, I’ve seen many, many kids his age and younger complete the program and graduate. On Wednesday, just-turned-two Chloe, who spent all of last summer being every bit as stubborn as Theo, graduated. I watched her float for seven full minutes without a hitch, and I watched her recover from many deep-water “falls” and get herself floating. And according to Chloe’s mother and father, the only thing that finally worked was letting Monica get tough with Chloe. (Chloe’s four-year-old brother, it should be noted, went through the program and graduated in only six lessons…he’s pretty much a floating prodigy. So their parents knew it was possible for Chloe to do it, if they just persisted enough.) A few weeks ago, I watched two-year-old twins (born four days before Theo) graduate, both floating for 10+ minutes each. And I have watched my own son float very well…when he wants to. So I know he’s capable of it--it’s just a matter of motivating him. And we tried the gentle approach for months (and most of last summer), but he’s just that stubborn. And so now, we move into the “Okay, kiddo, you have to do this” mode.

Is it easy for me to watch? No, definitely not. I don’t like seeing Theo upset, of course. But one thing that makes it easier is knowing that he’s not frightened; he’s angry. You can tell the difference between your child being hurt or scared or frustrated or angry, and he is mad! In fact, my friend Rachel (whose two-year-old daughter is already starting to float on her own after only two weeks in the program…sigh!) turned to me on Tuesday and said, “You know, he doesn’t seem scared at all. I think he’s just really, really pissed!” Indeed. So, when I have to watch my angry son working on his floating for 15 minutes a day…well, I just remind myself that if he’s ever in a situation where he falls in the water, I’ll thank my lucky stars every day that we did this. And besides, he’s just mad. And Theo being Theo, mad is not an infrequent thing. :-)

So now we have a week off from float lessons (Deborah and Monica are taking a vacation), but hopefully when we go back on the 12th, Theo will decide that cooperating with Monica is easier than fighting her. I swear, when he graduates, I’m throwing the biggest party ever!

In the vein of independence, this week was “attached at the hip” week at Little Gym. The Beasts (really, that’s what they call them!) are at an age where being clingy is nothing unusual, so this week we worked on encouraging independence. This was actually no problem with Theo, who has no qualms about running off and doing his own thing wherever we go. He was his usual independent self at Little Gym….

We also had two very amusing moments at Little Gym this week. The first was when we were in our circle to do names at the beginning of class. Theo noticed the bathroom across the room, and lately he is obsessed with all things potty (more on that later). So he stood up and yelled, “Potty!” I said, “Yes, that’s a potty.” He went on to yell, “Wipe? Wipe! Wipe!” and I confirmed that yes, people go in there and wipe themselves. Then he bellowed, “Flush! Flush!” Yes, we flush in there…and when he goes peepee or poopoo in the potty like a big boy, we’ll let him flush the toilet! I think most of the other parents were too busy with their own kids to really notice, but a few caught his very enthusiastic response to the potty! This is the story of my life lately. Every time we go somewhere with a bathroom, he has many questions and loud explanations about the potty. It cracks me up! Chris took him in the locker room at the gym to put on his swimsuit, and apparently he pointed at some man who was changing his underwear and said, “Wipe! Wipe!” Not sure whether the man had wiped, but Chris said the guy got a chuckle out of it. (My kid cracks me up!!)

The other funny part of Little Gym was that Theo seems to have developed a bit of a crush on a little girl named Jazleen. He kept taking all the soccer balls over to her and sharing them with her, and he was very proud of his sharing…but Jazleen was the only one he took them to. Alas, I think he could’ve chosen a little better. There is a bully kid in every class, it seems, and Jazleen is the bully in our class. All the other kids, boys and girls, seem to be very sweet and kind, but Jazleen is forever whining or yelling at people and refusing to share. Ah, Theo, you could do so much better. Someday, Chris and I will teach him the concept of looking for the nice person to date, rather than the one who treats you like garbage! (Jazleen bellowed at poor Theo when he tried to pick up a ball, and the sweet little guy still kept sharing soccer balls with her!)

So, the second part of this week’s blog title: going commando. This actually refers to another step of independence: potty training! Those of you with kids may have heard of what’s sometimes referred to as “commando potty training.” No, this is not any sort of potty-training boot camp where you get tough and crack down on the kid, which is what my Mom thought when I first mentioned it to her! Rather, the phrase “going commando” refers to not wearing any underwear…and in this form of potty training, the child has a lot of “naked time” so they can better feel when they’re wetting themselves and they can very easily get to the potty right now because they have no pants on to encumber them. Diapers (especially disposable diapers) keep wetness away from babies’ skin, which is great in terms of avoiding diaper rash and such. But when it comes time to potty train, some kids have a hard time really grasping the concept of pottying because they don’t even really feel it when they do it in their diapers. So supposedly, if they’re given a lot of “naked/commando” time, they can better learn what the sensation is like. Theo is primarily in cloth diapers, so that makes him a little more aware of what it’s like to be wet, but still…it’s not quite the same.

We’ve been doing casual potty training with Theo for months. He sits on the potty four times a day or so, after meals, and we try for elimination. Alas, it never happens. When we first started he went a few times, but for months he has done nothing. He sits quite happily for up to half an hour at a time, while we read him books, but he doesn’t do anything. Then we put a diaper back on him, and he promptly goes in that. :-)

Really, this isn’t a big deal. He’s still young, and my goal is to have him potty trained by around age 3, so we’re not concerned--we just keep sitting him on the potty to keep him used to it, and all is well. At least he’s not afraid of the potty, like a lot of kids his age are.

But in the last couple weeks, he has become obsessed with all things potty. He talks about potties all the time, as well as peepee and poopoo. He’s fascinated by flushing. He watches stuff go down the toilet with a look of great fascination, and then sometimes cries in disappointment after he waves goodbye to whatever it is. He wants to read potty books all the time. He tries to “help” me wipe when I go to the bathroom. (Ha--as you can imagine, that’s rather…um…interesting!! I have learned to sit very carefully so as not to allow access to certain areas!) He’s started pulling at his diaper a lot when it’s wet. Every once in a while, he’ll bring us a diaper when he needs to be changed. And so I began thinking, “Are we missing a golden opportunity here? Should we try to step up potty training and see what happens, given that he’s so interested right now?” And so I started doing a little research.

I have a number of friends who have done “commando” potty training (also called “three-day potty training,” though I don’t know anyone who has accomplished it in three days--everyone I know who has done it has said it takes a couple weeks), and they’ve been pretty pleased with the results. Almost all say the “naked time” is the key to the whole thing.

And so, starting Monday morning, we’re giving it a try! We’ve decided to give it a week and see what happens. If we have zero success, then we’ll give up and try again in a few months. Everyone I know who has done this has said they’ve seen progress within a matter of days, so that’s what we’re looking for. Not perfection by any means, but progress. And if we see it, then we’ll keep going. If not…well, we’ve lost nothing more than a few days of time spent obsessively sitting Theo on the potty every 20 to 30 minutes and a number of inevitable stains from accidents. Our carpet is trashed from Theo’s days massive of spit-up and Luna’s inevitable dog-ness, so the stains aren’t a big deal. We have a carpet shampooer and will just give it a once-over…or a twice-over. :-)

So if you peek over our fence into our backyard and see a pant-less Theo zooming around, well, now you’ll know why. Wish us luck! It if works, it’ll be the best couple weeks we’ve spent. If it doesn’t work…well, then, try, try again later. Nothing ventured nothing gained, and all that. I have visions of not trying, and then ending up with a stubborn three-year-old who doesn’t want to try, and me saying, “Darn it--why didn’t I give it a good try when he was two and obsessed with what goes in the potty and how it all works?”

(Addendum: I typed all the above stuff about potty training on Wednesday, as I tend to write the blog in bits and pieces over the week, as things occur to me. On Thursday, Theo and I went to Babies ’R Us and picked out some “big-boy training pants” and, as the three-day/commando method recommends, I’ve been talking up these training pants like mad: “Soon, we’re not going to have to do diapers anymore. You’re going to go on the potty like a big boy, and then you’ll get to wear these big-boy pants with cars and trucks on them!” Theo has been very interested in his big-boy pants, carrying them around the house and trying to put them on over his regular diaper and pants. And lo and behold, on Saturday, for the first time in months, he went poop in the potty! And was so proud of himself! He even brought his favorite toy, Mow-Mow (the talking lawnmower my sister got him for his birthday), into the bathroom to see his poop. And he cried when I didn’t tell the barista at Starbucks about his poop later that day. Ha--I should’ve told her, but I was a wee bit embarrassed to burst out with, “Did you know Theo went poopoo in the potty?” in the middle of Starbucks! I’ve been taking Theo there since he was a newborn, and they love him, so they probably wouldn’t have batted an eyelash, but still…seemed a little inappropriate to mention! Anyway, it will be very interesting to see how Monday goes…)

But on to other topics, since potty training isn’t really an exciting part of anyone’s world except ours. Theo has been having a blast this week at the gym. He actually asks to go every day (several times a day, in fact), but we’ve been taking him about three times a week. (Don’t want to wear out the novelty!) Every time I pick him up after my workout, he gets great reviews from the people who work there. Apparently he’s just quite the happy little guy in there. One time I came to get him, and I saw him just dancing his little heart out, having the best time! Made me so happy to see him like that…. :-) Funny thing is, I thought his favorite part of the gym would be the pool and “sprayground” outside, but he actually seems to much prefer the play-care area. Go figure! Well, they do have lots of fun toys in there, and a slide and a little ball pit. What’s not to like? They have a pretty nifty outdoor setup, too, but alas it’s now too hot for the kiddos to play outside.

We took a trip to the zoo on Saturday morning, since it’s free with our membership and we're on the prowl for fun, free activities lately. Theo skinned his knees twice while we were there, prompting me to realize that perhaps I’d better keep him in long pants all summer, despite the fact that he’ll roast in the Sacramento heat. Ah, the dilemma: He’s just learned how to run, and he wants to do it all the time. But he’s still not overly adept at it, so there are a lot of falls. Which is no biggie when he has long pants on, but when he’s wearing shorts because it’s 100 degrees out…well, his knees take a real beating. (This may have something to do with that slight tibial torsion he inherited from me. My Mom said I always fell forward as a baby/toddler, never backward onto my bottom, as most babies do. And I’ve noticed the same thing with Theo. My Mom used to call me “Raisin-Bread Legs” because I was always all bashed and bruised, so my legs looked like they were studded with raisins; perhaps Theo is Raisin-Bread Legs II.)

Despite the skinned knees, he had a good time at the zoo. He got to see one of his beloved fraffs up closer than usual (it was feeding time), and he very much enjoyed seeing some monkeys and lions and the zoo’s new tiger cub (SO cute!!). He also rode the carousel twice, which was big fun.

Saturday night, we went to Grandma Diane’s house because her community (Sun City) does an awesome fireworks show every July 3rd. (They do it on the 3rd so people’s grandkids can come see it, since many of the grandkids likely already have plans on the 4th.) It’s a fantastic show, as impressive as most I’ve seen, and I love going. But we haven’t gone the last two years because Theo was too young, it was past his bedtime, we thought the loudness might be a bit much, etc. This year, however, we decided to give it a try…and I’m happy to report that it was a rousing success! It was, as always, past Theo’s bedtime, but he did admirably anyway. He managed to sit through the whole show (albeit wiggling like mad for most of it, as Theo is wont to do), and he really seemed to enjoy the sparkles and colors in the sky. Before the show, we went to dinner (Subway sandwiches) and for ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery. And I say this to make my Aunt Sally jealous: Our Cold Stone had dark chocolate ice cream, so I got dark chocolate with peanut butter mixed it, and it was heavenly! Clearly, Aunt Sally and Uncle David will just have to make another trip out here, so Aunt Sally can partake of this ice cream. :-)

Sunday we woke up horrendously early (Chris’s idea, not mine!) to go to San Jose for the annual Fourth of July parade in his parents’ neighborhood. I admit this is a very cool parade, and I always enjoy seeing it--I just wasn’t enthused by having to rise at 5:15 am to hit the road by 6 when I was up working until midnight the night before!

We arrived in plenty of time for the parade, and Theo seemed to really enjoy himself, although I think he enjoyed running up and down the sidewalk as much as the parade itself! Afterward, we had a delicious brunch of strata and sausage (courtesy of Grandma Kathy) and Nik and Theo played for a bit, and then Grandpa Tom, Theo, Chris, Tanya, Nik, and I walked over to the neighborhood park, where there were more Fourth of July festivities going on.

We originally intended to stay in San Jose until about 4:30, stopping by Aunt Tanya and Uncle Steve’s house for a bit on the way out (they were having a BBQ). But by 3pm Chris, Theo, and I were all exhausted, so we hit the road for home instead. We stopped at the Nut Tree in Vacaville for some pizza for us and a carousel ride for Theo, and we were home by 8pm. A lot of people in our neighborhood were out and about, but we were all just too darn tired to participate.

And so ends another week in the Small household! Stay tuned next week, as I can guarantee we’ll have some interesting potty training tales to tell. (Whether they’ll be positive or negative is anyone’s guess!) Hope you all had a happy Independence Day!