The Small Family     

Lots of big news from the Small household this week! First of all, inspiring the title of this week’s blog post is our little fish! One of Theo’s favorite songs at the gym playcare is “Slippery Fish.” And it seems he himself is a slippery fish. He started swim lessons this week, and wow--what a champ!

The lessons are private ones with the same teacher who taught him how to backfloat--Miss Deborah. As you may recall, Theo screamed mightily through most of his backfloat lessons, though he did eventually graduate as a floating champ. So I spent the entire winter pumping him up for swim lessons. Every time he’d ask about Miss Deborah or Miss Monica (which was pretty much every day), I’d tell him that when the weather got warm, we’d go see Deborah and Monica, and they’d teach him how to swim just like a dolphin, and then he’d be able to swim like a dolphin in Papa’s pool. I was hoping the constant enthusiasm would rub off on him, and perhaps it did, because there were no signs of the crabby water baby of last year. On the contrary, he loves his swim lessons and is very cooperative. Go figure! Deborah wondered whether he’s the same kid. She’s training a new teacher (Miss Gina), and I heard her tell Gina, “Theo is one of the most stubborn students we’ve ever had. It took two entire summers, but he finally did it!” And then Theo gets in the pool and acts like it’s no big deal, and takes to it like…well, a fish to water. :-) We’re very, very proud of the little slippery fish!

Another big event this week was Theo’s first Little Gym class without me. I was a bit sad about this, as I loved the parent-participation classes, but it was actually really fun to sit in the lobby and be an observer. It was like watching the kiddos in a fishbowl, and you could see what all of them were doing instead of just following your own kid around, making sure he took turns with the other kiddos.

Overall, Theo did great. It was so much fun to watch him because he was obviously having a blast. But you know all Theo--doing great did NOT include sitting when he was supposed to at all times, going where he was supposed to at all times, doing what he was supposed to at all times. Rather, he followed directions well SOMETIMES, and other times he was a typical crazy three-year-old boy, doing his own thing. Most of the other kids in the class were very compliant, just doing exactly what they were told, and I can’t say Theo was quite at that point. But, for his first teacher-student type of class (without me present) and given that he’s only recently turned three, I thought he did really well. (And his teachers did, too.)

However, there was another mother sitting next to me who was rather agitated by the fact that he wasn’t doing exactly what he was supposed to at all times. She was fretting about her daughter, too, but her daughter generally did what she was supposed to. But this mother (whose name I don’t know--I didn’t bother to get it because, frankly, I really didn’t much care for her) kept stewing and fretting about how, “It drives me crazy when they don’t do what they’re told!” (Um, and you have a three-year-old? Good luck with that, lady. They’re a work in progress, for sure!) I found her only mildly annoying until she made a rather rude comment about Theo, at which point I decided that I just plain disliked her. Ah well, there’s one in every group, isn’t there?

For the record, if Theo had been a total distraction or ill-behaved, I would’ve recognized this rude woman’s point and given it more credit than I did. But he was just wanting to be up and doing his own thing, and I can actually understand why: In his first two years in Little Gym, the kids were allowed to explore the gym freely during the classes. We were supposed to encourage them to join the group, but let them do their own thing if that’s what they preferred, as LG’s view is that exploration is every bit as valid a form of learning at that young age as participating in a group setting. So Theo, not being a natural follower, has spent two years mostly doing his own thing while at LG. Now he’s thrown into a class where he’s expected to follow a routine that includes doing what the other kids are doing. Which is fine--this is indeed something he needs to learn to do for when he starts kindergarten. But it’s not going to happen overnight! He’s still operating off the assumption that he is free to explore the gym however he wants while he’s there. I think it’s going to take a few classes for him to get into the new routine. And this doesn’t bother me or the teachers in the least--they made a point to tell me how well he did for his first class. But apparently, it bothered the annoying mother.

So here's the kicker: Her daughter took a total shine to Theo. She kept holding his hand and dragging him around the room. (Theo looked rather annoyed and just tried to run off on his own whenever possible. I laugh, thinking that in about 13 years, he's going to LOVE all this attention from the ladies!) And I wanted to cackle and say, "Woohoo! Your daughter is going to be corrupted by my delinquent son!"

Anyway, gripe over. I just feel annoyed at that mother, and I can’t say I’m looking forward to seeing her again on Tuesday! And I feel rather sorry for her daughter, who seems to get NO leeway in a situation that is supposed to be a good balance of controlled and fun. It’s not military school, for heaven’s sake--it’s Little Gym!

In further big news, Chris had his job interviews this week! I’m proud as punch to say that I think they went very well. It was rather comical, actually. Chris had five phone interviews back to back, but no good place to take the calls. He couldn’t take them at his office--that would just be tacky, even though the job is with the same parent company. Our house has spotty cell reception (and we don't have a land line), and he didn’t want the calls to drop while he was talking--that would’ve looked unprofessional. So we finally decided the best idea would be for him to drive across the street to the gas station, where the reception was probably better, and do three hours of interviews in his car. And so he did! And no calls dropped, so all was well.

Chris felt like the interviews were really strong, and they got back to him within 48 hours to ask what his current salary is, so I suspect they may be putting together an offer for him, but we’ll see. He absolutely, 100% wants the job. It sounds like an amazing, once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity for him! I’ll share a bit more about it, in case anyone is wondering. It turns out it’s a senior editor position for a $43 million, four-year contract with the Department of Education, related to Obama’s Race to the Top education reform initiative. Basically, the department he’d be working for reports directly to the Secretary of Education. And here’s the thing: He’d be the only editor right now--they don’t currently have one. So they want him to do all the copyediting stuff, but they also want him to potentially build an entire editorial department, because even when this contract is up in four years, they’ll have more contracts of this type coming in, and they’ll need editors.

Chris’s current editorial department (where he is a lead editor) works fine, but they have been resistant to implementing any sorts of changes. Chris spent a lot of time a couple years back putting together an entire proposal on how he thought the department could run more effectively, because his superiors told him that they were interested in hearing his ideas and that it might result in a promotion for him. He put together the entire proposal, they took a quick look at it, did nothing, and he didn’t get a promotion or a raise for his efforts. So that was understandably frustrating to him--and here, he’d have a chance to put those ideas into use.

His passion is also education (not so much environment, though he does enjoy that to a certain extent), so he’d be editing material that he really cares about. So, you can see why this job is really ideal for him.

But then…relocation. Here’s where we’re struggling a bit. It seems as if they may be open to letting him telecommute for the position, but we’re not certain that’s the best idea. Copyediting done remotely is easy (I’ve done it all the time for 10 years!), but setting up a department and establishing department guidelines, policies, workflows, etc.--those are things that he could do more effectively if he was in-house. Plus, a relocation gets us out of our mortgage, and there is absolutely no way for us to get out of it if we stay here. (We’re rapidly outgrowing our house, but we’ve lost more than 50% of the value thanks to the housing crash, and there’s no way we’ll ever get it all back, unless we stay in a too-small house for 20 years or something. Not a great option. If we relocate, we should be eligible for a bank-approved short sale.)

So we’re debating whether the best idea is to relocate for one or two years, so he can get the department in Virginia set up and running, and then after a year or two, we can decide whether we want to stay there or move somewhere else and have him telecommute. It’s basically a fresh start for us, and it helps him do the job most effectively, which is something he’s very concerned with.

So what’s the downside? Leaving family and friends. Obviously, that’s huge. But if we view it as a one- or two-year thing, it seems much more manageable. There are planes for us to fly back and visit, and there are planes for people to come visit us. :-) And frankly, the chance to be near some really cool stuff is very enticing! Chris is a big history buff, so being able to explore DC and all the other historical sites around there would really be a lot of fun.

Anyway, hopefully I’ll have more info on this in the next week or two.

And still more big news (sorry for the LONG post--it’s been an eventful week!): We had an appointment with our fertility doctor. As long as I’m being upfront about the fact that we’re having fertility issues, I figured I might as well be upfront about all of it. This time we met with an M.D., rather than a nurse practitioner, and I don’t know whether it was the difference in training/background or just the personality of the two people, but this experience was much better. I was a little nervous about seeing a male fertility doctor--I always gravitate to females, as I’m generally much more comfortable with them. But beggars can’t be choosers, and if Kaiser was willing to let me see a different provider, I certainly wasn’t going to argue about what gender that provider is!

Dr. Klooster turned out to be a dream. He set me at ease the minute we walked into his office by saying cheerfully, “Well, they’ve given me all sorts of warnings about you! But no worries--we’re going to get you some medicine.” REALLY?! You’re going to help me?! I wanted to hug the man right then and there--and I’m not a hugger! He more or less said that the nurse practitioner tends to be rather old-school, and because I don’t fit into Kaiser’s “neat little box,” she wasn’t inclined to treat me. But he doesn’t have a problem with me being a bit outside of the box. I love this man….

So, Dr. Klooster seems to think that, based on my charting, my history, and my bloodwork, I’m not even ovulating anymore. Well, gee--that would make it pretty impossible to have a baby, wouldn’t it? Here I’ve spent eight months getting my hopes up and then dashed every month--and it turns out there was no way I could’ve gotten pregnant. Sigh…

That said, he said I’m a good candidate for Clomid, which is the simplest form of fertility treatment with the fewest side effects. He’s agreed to let us try it for six months. If that doesn’t work, we’ll move forward with adoption plans--or just resign ourselves to being a three-person family. But at least I feel as if we now have a chance to have another baby.

So, any good wishes or prayers that anyone wants to send our way over the next six months would be appreciated. :-)

So, to wrap up this very long blog, I’ll briefly share our weekend adventures. On Saturday, we drove to Tahoe for the day. Our thought was to take a hike and maybe play on the beach for a bit. Alas, Theo was being quite contrary, so things didn’t quite work out. We did have a yummy lunch. We did spend a few whiny minutes at the beach. And we did spend a whiny 30 minutes attempting our hike. Then we finally threw up our hands and said, “Forget it! Let’s just go take a walk with him in the stroller.” And so we plunked Mr. Grouchy Pants in the stroller (much to his irritation) and wandered around South Lake Tahoe for a bit (stopping for cookie--yum!--and also seeing a really neat Dr. Seuss art exhibit) before heading home. It was a nice day, despite certain cranky individuals.

Sunday was more low-key. My Mom and I took Theo and the pugs to a pug meetup in the morning, while Chris puttered around. Later, Chris took Theo for a while so I could continue to try to dig my way out from the giant avalanche of work. Someday, I’ll see the light….

Hope you all had a wonderful week! Our four-year anniversary is coming up on Friday--can’t believe it’s been so long! My romantic hubby made dinner reservations for a delicious restaurant right near our house, so we’ll be enjoying that while Theo enjoys 3 1/2 hours of free Little Gym babysitting, in the form of another Parents’ Survival Night. Gee, how nice of them to schedule it right on our anniversary! ;-)