The Small Family     

Oh boy, oh boy…I believe we have reached the next stage of toddler behavior here in the Small household! Theo appears to be entering the stubborn “I can do it myself, and if you try to help me, I will throw a tantrum” stage. I knew this was coming, as we have several friends with children slightly older than Theo, and every child-rearing book on the market talks about this stage, so I’m kind of snickering about the whole thing--that sort of “Well, here we go!” feeling.

From what I’ve heard, this stage usually comes right around age 3, so I’m not surprised that Theo seems to be starting it at around 2 1/2, as he seems to go through these stages a few months early. (For example, the “terrible twos” were the most challenging with him from age 15 months to right around age 2, rather than after he turned 2. From 2 to 2 1/2, he has really been very agreeable and easy to get along with.) And it some ways it’s a really fun stage--he’s gaining independence and wanting to try to do everything for himself, which is a good thing in the long run and really neat to watch. But sometimes this independence can be a bit dangerous, so we have to curb it…and then all hell breaks loose. For example, Theo is still young enough that he needs to hold the banister when he comes down the stairs. Like any young child, he’s still apt to come charging down the stairs much too fast and take a tumble if he doesn’t hold on. So a few mornings ago, Theo decided he wanted to bring an upstairs toy downstairs. Which is all well and good, except that it required him to hold the toy with both hands, leaving no way for him to hold the banister. Chris offered to carry the toy down for him so he could hold onto the banister, and wow…Theo let loose with quite a tirade, starting with, “FEO DO IT!” and ending with much screaming and stomping of feet.

Similarly, he wants to buckle his own car seat now. Which is fine when he does it properly, but it’s not the easiest buckle, and he often needs help. Which makes him angry. And then he kicks and screams. Oooh, fun. :-)

But on the plus side, I’m really charmed by watching his independence in many ways. When he’s hungry, he goes to the pantry and gets his own snack--carefully taking out a box of crackers, carrying it over to the table, climbing up in a chair, and eating. When he needs to go to the bathroom, he makes every attempt to do it all on his own. When he wants to play outside, he tries to put his shoes on by himself. Really, it’s very cool. Could perhaps do without the tantrum side of it, but the independence part is neat.

Actually, though, our new method of discipline (the “chill out in your room” strategy) is continuing to work well. When he won’t calm down from a tantrum, we just put him in his room and close the baby gate. He screams for a minute, then settles down on his own. This is in stark contrast to traditional time outs, where he would scream and kick and fight for so long that the entire tirade could last up to 15 minutes, leaving both us and him frazzled and exhausted. Oh, how I love that he’s now at an age where we can just put him in his room to cool off! (As an aside, I was talking to my Mom about this today, and her take was that he responds better to being put in his room than to a regular time out because he feels more in control. On a regular time out, we're there to keep putting him back in the chair when he gets out of it (which he does a zillion times). When he's in his room, we're not there, so he's not fighting us--rather, it's up to him when he calms down and gets to come out of his room. Hmmm, she may have a point. The boy certainly does not like to feel controlled by his lowly parents!)

I am, however, waiting for “rock star” behavior to come out. My friend Janeane’s daughter, Emma, responds well to the same type of “chill out” strategy, but every so often she will act like a rock star trashing a hotel room and completely tear apart her room in anger. And I recall both my Mom and my sister telling me that their sons (my brother and my nephew, Tyler) got so angry at being put in their room that they pooped their pants, took them off, and smeared poop everywhere. So far Theo has not attempted to do any of these things while in his room, but I shall be prepared if/when that day arrives. Not happy about it, but at least prepared! 

So we’ve had a few cute Theo moments lately that I forgot to mention last week on our blog. One that really made me laugh took place when we were driving down to Grandpa Tom and Grandma Kathy’s house last weekend. Theo has moved on from Mickey Mouse Clubhouse to Little Einsteins, another Disney show. It’s a step past Baby Einstein, and it’s actually quite cute. Four friends, the titular Little Einsteins, fly their trusty rocket to go on adventures and solve problems. Each episode features a classical composer and an artist of some sort (painter, sculptor, architect, etc.). So as we were driving down to Grandma and Grandpa’s house, we were trying to keep antsy Theo occupied in the car. Grandma and Grandpa don’t live too terribly far from the airport, so we got to see a lot of low-flying airplanes as we neared their house. As Theo pointed out the airplanes, we said, “Neat! What else flies in the sky with airplanes?” We were expecting the obvious answer: birds. But no. He very seriously replied, “The Great Schubert.” I started laughing and said, “As in Franz Schubert?” and he replied, “Yes.” I wondered where the heck he had gotten that from, and then I remembered that one of his favorite recent Little Einsteins episodes features Franz Schubert…and I’m going to assume that at some point in the cartoon, Schubert must somehow be flying. Anyway, it was good for a laugh…I never thought my 2-1/2-year-old would be spouting composer names!

Another amusing exchange came about when I was getting out of the shower one morning. Theo was very seriously looking at Zoe’s belly, which was exposed as she lay on her back in the dog bed. “Zoe poo poo!” he proclaimed, pointing at her nipples. I started laughing and said, “That’s not poo poo, honey--those are her nipples.” He nodded and said seriously, “Zoe’s nickels.” Ha!

We had a quiet week but, as usual, managed to pack a lot of fun into the weekend. For the first time in almost a month, it didn’t rain on the weekend. So we took advantage of the clear weather to head up to Apple Hill. What fun! A lot of people had the same idea, so the big farms that we usually stop at were very crowded. But Apple Hill consists of 30+ farms/growers, so we just kept driving until we came to a reasonably quiet one. We had lunch, and Theo had his first grilled-cheese sandwich. Yes, I know that’s dairy…but we decided to give dairy another go. I think I’ve mentioned that our pediatrician suggested we routinely try introducing dairy once every few months, as Theo likely will eventually outgrow his allergy, so we decided to try some cheese this weekend. He seemed to like the sandwich well enough, though the chips were actually his favorite part! But oh, how we hope this will go well. It would be so much easier to feed him if he could eat dairy! Right now we have to cook exclusively for him, since most of our meals have at least a small amount of dairy in them. If/when he finally outgrows this, we’ll be able to just share some of what we’re eating with him. He’s been getting increasingly picky about food lately, so we’re thinking perhaps he’s bored with his standard fare. And I can’t say I blame him…although he has a quite varied diet, the options are limited when it can’t include dairy. So we’ll see how this goes. Last time we tried a full-blown attempt, he did fine for several days and then started throwing up. So only time will tell with this attempt. The grilled-cheese seemed to work out fine (no eczema flare-up, no GI issues in the 36 hours since we gave it to him), so we’ll try a few other cheese-based items as the week progresses and see how he does.  

After lunch we had dessert--apple berry crunch pie for Chris, a blackberry cream cheese turnover for me, and an applesauce cookie for Theo. And then we set about to explore the farm’s “maze,” which really was nothing more than just a path through some trees. But Theo very much enjoyed running around, so we had fun.

We stopped next at a farm that has some pony rides and a train ride, and Theo got to be a cowboy! He was pretty excited about that, though a bit unsure about the pony ride. He made it through one loop around the paddock, so we were very proud of him. And he loved the train ride with Chris…once the train started moving. Theo hates very little more than waiting in line, so waiting for the train to start wasn’t particularly fun, as you’ll see in one of the pictures of Chris and Theo sitting on the train. When Chris gets frustrated or mad, his chin/jaw tighten up noticeably, and I couldn’t resist sharing a picture of this, since I rarely catch it on film! Anyway, once the train started, Chris said Theo had a wonderful time. We’re hoping to take him back to Disneyland next year, so it’ll be interesting to see whether he’s more amenable to going on rides this year, now that he has been on several small train rides. I’m sure waiting in line with him will be no picnic, though. :-)

Sunday Chris and I traded a few hours of alone time. I took my Mom to see Secretariat, which she had been dying to see but hadn’t felt well enough to go to. I’m pleased to report that after nearly three months of house arrest, she is finally feeling quite a bit better. And so we ventured out to the movies. And wow--what a great movie! I highly recommend it. I’m glad we saw it on the big screen, as the horse racing was really impressive, but I think it would be very enjoyable even on a smaller screen. Good story, pretty scenery, neat horse scenes--we both really liked it. Afterwards we had lunch and wandered around a bit while I waited for Chris to let me know that Theo had awoken from his nap. When he did, I headed home and relieved Chris, who went out for a couple hours to get a haircut and do some homework at the local Peet’s Coffee.

And so ends another week for us. Next week starts with a visit to a preschool that we’re looking at for Theo. Good heavens, can it be time for that already??? Apparently so. We’re planning to have him start next fall, when he’s 3 1/2, and evidently signups begin in January. Crikey! Anyway, this one looks great on paper, but we’ll see what we think when we visit….