The Small Family     

Well here we are, one week into our new adventure, and life is pretty good! We’re settling in slowly but surely. I’m usually frantic unpacker who likes to get everything done in a matter of days, but I found my usual way of doing things was making me have some contractions, so I’ve slowed down and decided not to be such a neurotic freak about unpacking. :-) Chris has been building little pieces of furniture and hanging pictures when he gets home in the evening, which is nice. He likes doing that stuff, and I can’t say it’s my favorite task, so I’m happy to hand it over. Slowly but surely, it’s looking like a home in here.

Theo is very happy in his new house now. He loves playing with his CDs in his room, giving me visions of his teenage years, when I expect to rarely see him. (I hope that’s not the case, but you know teenage boys--prone to disappearing in their room with headphones on, tuning out mom and dad.) As of now, he goes in there several times a day and happily plays CDs. Theo being Theo, he rarely listens to more than the first 10 seconds of any one song, but hey--it keeps him happy.

One wonderful thing about the neighborhood is how quiet it is! Besides the vampires at our old house, we had some very noisy kids living next door. Now, let me say that they were very nice kids, and I liked them a lot. But oh my goodness, were they loud! They would yell in our courtyard, right below Theo’s room, as they had water-balloon fights and whatnot, and it was so loud! The dogs would bark, and I lived in fear that they would disturb Theo’s nap. And I can’t remember whether I mentioned the vampires on our blog or just complained about them on Facebook, but they were some renters who moved in behind us a few months ago, and I dubbed them “the vampires” because they were never seen during the day, but they were up all night! Loud parties until 2 or 3 in the morning were not uncommon, though at least they toned down the music after I stalked outside in my pajamas at 2:30 in the morning one time and yelled over the fence to have them turn it down. But seriously, in our house at night, with all the windows closed and the A/C running, you could hear their conversations until the wee hours of the morning. I even heard a lovely domestic argument one time. Oh, I was so ready to leave them behind!

Our new neighborhood, though, seems very quiet. I’ve met one set of neighbors who are really nice, and I’ve seen people out and about, but I can’t hear them in the house. I suspect this house may be built a little better than our old one. Even when Chris starts up his car in the driveway at 5:30am and I’m up working, I can’t hear a thing. I think they have better soundproofing in this house than we did. And oh, I’m enjoying that. More peace and quiet and less of the pugs barking at every little noise!

Theo has been at his new preschool all week, and he seems very happy with it. He actually hasn’t mentioned his old preschool more than a couple of times, and he doesn’t seem particularly sad about it--just mentions it in passing. He’s told me about a couple of the kids in his class, and he seems to have enjoyed playing outside. The owner of the school has had him outside quite a bit this week, as he acclimates to the new environment, and I think he really enjoys that. He’s gotten to help care for the goats and feed the rabbit, which made him happy. And they have a mini-tractor that he quite enjoys.

Same old, same old when it comes to circle time--he refuses to participate in it. But that’s no different than at his old school, so we shall consider it a work in progress. And it doesn’t sound as if he’s particularly disruptive--just doesn’t want to participate. Fair enough.

I volunteered at the school on Friday, which was a lot of fun. The children prepared “Friendship Soup” for a Thanksgiving feast, which was held on Friday. Each child had to bring an ingredient on Wednesday--a task which Theo took very seriously. In fact, when we got to school on Wednesday, Hadas (one of the teachers) said, “Hi, Theo--how are you today?” and he replied very seriously, “I didn’t bring my boots today. I just brought my celery for the soup.” Clearly the celery was of the utmost importance to him! He was pretty perturbed that they didn’t get to make the soup on Wednesday, but I think he got to help prepare it later in the week. (It’s hard to tell exactly what he does in there, as Theo is notoriously reticent about what he does in preschool. Usually he’ll only tell us about things that didn’t go right--but not about what he actually does in there. We know he does things (and that things go right!) because of what we hear from the teachers and the work he brings home, but if you ask Theo what he did in preschool, he’ll just tell you, “I think I had a hard time…” and then go on to recount whatever bugged him that day. Usually it involves not wanting to be in the circle….)

Anyway, the kids spent Thursday and Friday cleaning the vegetables, chopping them, and making the soup, and then on Friday they all sat down for a group lunch together: Friendship Soup, applesauce, and cornbread. I volunteered to help set up, and I’m really glad I did--Theo was so excited to have me come see his “fancy new school.” (Don’t ask me why he thinks it’s fancy--it’s actually very low-key. But I guess to him, it’s fancy!) And he actually did sit with the other kids and eat his lunch, which was great to see, given that he often prefers to be on his own. And I got to meet a lot of nice parents, two of whom mentioned that they had children in the charter Montessori grade 1-5 school in the area. Both spoke very highly of it, which was good to hear, since we may look into that option for Theo when he finishes kindergarten. (His current school goes up through kindergarten, so we have a couple of years. By the time he finishes at Myrtle Farm, it’ll be almost time for Garbanzo to start there!)

So far, so good--school seems to be starting well….

In other news, Chris is enjoying his new adventure, too! His first week at Genentech has been a day of orientation and then lots of meetings, but he’s really enjoying it so far. He likes the people a lot, and he seems very happy at the company in general. (They have a crazy-cheap cafeteria onsite, and it overlooks the San Francisco Bay. Can’t beat that, eh?) He has tried all three commute options and definitely has a preference on them. Option 1 is getting up at the crack of dawn and driving in: He leaves the house at 5:30 a.m. and gets to the office at about 6:30 a.m. If he takes a half-hour lunch, then he can leave at 3:00 p.m. This allows him to miss the worst of the traffic and be home by about 5:00. (Afternoon traffic is worse than morning traffic.) Option 2 is taking BART (our rapid-transit system) into San Francisco and then taking the Genentech shuttle to the office. This is his least favorite option, as it takes two hours each way and requires him to drive half an hour, stand on BART (as all the seats are taken) for an hour, then ride the shuttle for another half an hour. He leaves the house just before 6 a.m. and doesn’t get to work until 8 a.m., so he has to stay until at least 4:30--and then he gets home between 6:30 and 7. Long day… Option 3 is taking the Genentech shuttle from the East Bay. He likes this option fairly well: He leaves the house just before 6 a.m. and gets home by about 6 p.m. The bus is very comfortable and WiFi-enabled. The day is slightly longer than if he drives in, but certainly shorter than if he takes BART. So I suspect he will probably alternate between taking the bus and driving, depending on the hours he wants to work on any given day.

Here’s the funny thing: Chris is notoriously not a morning person. And I am notoriously a morning person. But we have switched roles! He has been quite cheery about getting up at 5 a.m., whereas I stagger around in a state of exhaustion, falling asleep in my desk chair, sitting straight up, once or twice a day. (I get up when he does since I have to try to get some work done before Theo wakes up for the day. My usual 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. worktime is now gone, since by the time Chris gets home he is understandably tired after the long day, so I now work very early hours and while Theo is at preschool and napping.) I think part of my exhaustion is just because I wake up every hour all night long, though. I'm either waking to pee or waking to turn over--my knees and legs have ached all throughout this pregnancy, and I can no longer turn over in my sleep, so I wake up every hour with aching legs and have to turn over and stretch to get back to sleep. Three more months...three more months...and then I'll be woken by a hungry baby, which is preferable to being woken up by achy legs!

But in spite of this, would you believe that we are less stressed than before? When Chris gets home at night, I don’t have to work much--maybe just wrap up 10 or 15 minutes or so, but often I’m done for the day. So we actually get to spend time together as a family, instead of me handing Theo off at 5 p.m. and rushing upstairs to start the second half of my workday. It has really been quite lovely so far. And pretty soon, my work will be scaled back enough that I won’t have to get up quite so early every morning. Right now I’m still working full-time, but that should change by January. I’m transitioning into more “mommyhood” for the next couple of years, and I’m really liking it. I’ll still work because (1) we need at least one-plus income and (2) I enjoy working, but Chris’s new job and the associated increase in pay means that I no longer have to work full-time! And I am loving the idea! When both boys are in school full days, I’ll probably go back to pretty much full time, but I love that I don’t have to do that in the next several years--I can spend a lot more time enjoying my boys, before they’re grown up and wanting very little to do with mom and dad.

It’s funny: When I got pregnant with Theo and told people I was going to continue to work full-time and not use daycare (because we had no choice about me working full-time--and we didn’t want to use daycare), they told me it couldn’t be done: “You can’t work full-time and not use childcare. It’s not possible.” I was determined to prove them wrong. And I guess in a way we did--but I need to admit that they were right in that it is very difficult. Exhausting. Completely. If it hadn’t been the only option we were comfortable with, we would’ve stopped trying to do it long ago. It was basically from 7 a.m. until 8 or 9 p.m., every weekday, Chris and I were always either working or doing childcare. There was no downtime for us until after 9 p.m.—and by then, we were so tired we couldn’t enjoy it. There was no “come home from work and take a load off for half an hour” or “lie down and take a nap while the baby sleeps” for Chris and me--if one of us wasn’t actively caring for Theo, we were always working. So I can say that yes, it’s doable--but it is not ideal. I would never recommend it to anyone. I think this new setup is going to be much better for us. Life will still be busy, of course--any parent’s life is crazy busy! But it won’t be overwhelming anymore, I hope.

But I digress… Genentech! So far, Chris is really impressed by the company. And I am going to take a minute to brag about my hubby, because he won’t do it himself. According to the head of HR, who ran Chris’s first-day orientation, Genentech gets 45,000 applications per month. Can you even imagine?! The company is only 11,000 people, and they get that many applications per month?! Probably because they’re listed as one of the top companies to work for…. Anyway, I am very proud of Chris for landing the job, given the fierce competition. I have no idea how many people applied for his specific position, as I’m sure many of the applicants are biologists, scientists, pharmaceutical professionals, etc., but I’m sure there was at least a decent number. And in fact, Chris saw the resumes of some other applicants for the editor position, as Genentech is hiring a second new editor on a contract basis, and he said he was pretty floored that they hired him--he said some of the applicants have PhDs in biochemistry and such. He did feel as if his interview went really well, which I’m sure is a big part of it--but to even get an interview, my guess is that his 12 years of experience with Jones & Stokes/ICF helped. If I was on a hiring committee, I would look favorably on someone who was clearly loyal to a company. I know they say you get ahead in the workforce these days by changing jobs and moving up, but there’s something to be said for a steady employment record, too, and Chris certainly has that.

Another fun Genentech fact: The company meeting for Chris’s division is going to be held in Europe next year--possibly Germany. LUCKY! I want to go!! Chris actually probably won’t even go, though. He’s allowed (and encouraged) to, but since we will have a new baby, he can probably skip it and go the following year. I guess it was held in Switzerland last year. (Genentech’s parent company, Roche, is Europe-based--which is probably why the meetings are held there.)

But enough about work stuff: Let’s move on to the fun weekend. Saturday morning we walked to downtown Clayton to get coffee at the small coffeehouse in town. Wish I’d brought my camera--what a nice walk! It’s along the path I posted pictures of last week. You just walk five minutes down that path (which also cuts through a neat wooded area with a stream), and you’re in tiny, quaint downtown Clayton. (The funny thing is, it takes 10 minutes to drive into downtown Clayton, as you have to wind around the golf course. But if you walk, it takes a mere five minutes!) You also walk right past the library to get into Clayton, so I think that will significantly lower my spending on books--which is notoriously a budget weak-spot for me! Anyway, we got our coffee and then walked back home to straighten up the house for Grandpa Tom’s visit. Grandma Kathy was supposed to come, too, but she got sick. Hopefully she’ll get to see our place soon! We had a nice visit with Papa--Theo enjoyed showing him his new room, and we all had a yummy lunch at a baseball-themed bar and grill in downtown Clayton.

Sunday was a rainy day, so we headed into San Francisco to a children’s museum where we get free entry with one of our reciprocal memberships. Theo was, predictably, most interested in the music-production sections--he really enjoyed those a lot. And we all had a tasty lunch at a little soup/sandwich place nearby, where I discovered many vegan options! This doesn’t matter at the moment, but come February (and the arrival of Garbanzo), I’ll have to go dairy-free, and since I’m not a big meat eater anyway, that means pretty vegan for me. So it’s always good to find new vegan options. I’m hoping to nurse the baby for a year or so, so it’ll be nice to have some eating-out options during that dairy-free time.

Speaking of Garbanzo (who should really be named Muhammad Ali, based on the way he pummels my internal organs), he is now about 15 inches long and just over two pounds. And he can now hear muffled sounds in the womb--so he should be getting used to Zoe’s crazy stuck-pig bark and Theo’s musical selections, which we hear over and over every day. Garbanzo’s taste buds have also developed, and supposedly he may hiccup if I eat spicy foods. Funny thing--I read somewhere that it takes about two hours after eating for the baby to actually start getting the food you eat. But Garbanzo always wakes up right when I start eating and starts kicking like crazy. I think I’m growing a little foodie. :-)

I went ahead and scheduled a 3D ultrasound (elective) for December 10^th, so in a few weeks y’all will get to see 3D pictures of the little guy. Chris and Theo get to go with me, and I think it’s going to be really neat for Theo to see his baby brother! He’s pretty excited to meet him and keeps talking about all the things he’ll do with the baby. (The latest: “The baby will listen to Feo’s iPod with Feo!” Oh, poor baby--he’s going to be inundated with Lady Gaga songs….)

Speaking of Theo, I’ll close this week with a funny comment from the boy. Saturday morning, he was sitting on his bedroom floor wearing no pants and underwear (as he had gone to the bathroom but neglected to put his pants and underwear back on). I walked by and noticed him playing with a flashlight, so I said, “Whatcha doing, buddy?” He looked at me very seriously and said, “I’m just flashing people.” HA! Indeed he was--in more ways than one!

On that note, Happy Thanksgiving to all, and I’ll be back next week!