The Small Family     

Well, what a week it has been! Life is often crazy around here, but this week has surely been the craziest I can remember--thus my late blog post this week.

I’ll get to the house hunt in a moment, but let me first describe the earlier part of the week. On Wednesday, I ventured down to Walnut Creek and Danville (in the East Bay) with my Mom to check out four potential preschools for Theo. And I absolutely fell in love with one! It’s called Myrtle Farm, and it actually is on a small working farm! It’s a Montessori preschool, but as an added component, they incorporate the farm into the curriculum. The children help care for the goats, chickens, and pony, and some of their “jobs” include outdoor activities that involve caring for the farm. The school has 30 kids, and they are divided into five groups of six children. Each day, one group of six kids gets to spend the entire class day outside, caring for the animals and doing outdoor Montessori activities involving gardening, activities about insects and plants, etc. If a child doesn’t want to be outside for his allotted day, he’s allowed to go inside and spend the day inside--but he then forfeits his outside work for that day (and another child who wants to go outside can take his place).

Theo is a very outdoorsy little boy, so I think he would just absolutely love the farm/outdoor aspect of the school! And the director said most of the kids do--very few of them actually opt to work indoors on their allotted outdoor day. She evidently taught Montessori for nine years in Moraga (fancy part of the East Bay) and loved it, but she thought that they should incorporate more outdoor activities into the kids’ days. So, she moved out to Concord, bought the property, and set up her own farm-based Montessori preschool 20 years ago. She’s now semi-retired but lives on the property and is there every day. I really hit it off her with--her philosophy and approach are very similar to ours in terms of what she expects from the kids and how their program is structured.

Besides the completely awesome farm aspect of this school, another thing I liked is that it seems to run very much like Theo’s current school, which we love. And because the poor guy has a lot of changes coming up (new home, new area, new school, new baby brother on the way), we really like the idea of keeping as consistent of a preschool environment as we can for him. And of the four Montessori preschools I toured, Myrtle Farm had the most cohesive, calm environment. I got to watch the children for a good 30 minutes, and although it was very apparent that the class was made up of all sorts of different personalities (there was the kid with pretty obvious behavior challenges, the very bossy little girl, and the more “follower” types, for example), it was amazing to see how well they all interacted with each other. The socialization was fantastic--you’d see kids going up to one another and saying, “Do you want to do a job with me?” and then they’d pick a job and set it up and work together. And other kids were working alone on jobs--but the common denominator was that they all looked utterly content and happy. And very sociable--several of them came up to talk to me about things, and they were so darn cute! It was clear to me that this was a very happy environment where the children felt comfortable and safe, and that really sold me.

I’ve learned that not all Montessori schools are equal. The name isn’t trademarked, so technically any school can call itself Montessori--and the degree to which they actually follow the philosophy and how they implement it just depends on the school. All four that I toured technically use Montessori materials, and three of the four seemed to follow the general approach (though Myrtle Farm seemed the most successful at it--two of the others were nice but a bit more disorganized and chaotic). The fourth one seemed to be a far more academic preschool that just happened to attach the Montessori name to itself. It was more of the “your child will be fluent in three languages and doing calculus by age four” type of place. And that is not what we want for Theo at all. What we love about true Montessori is their “follow the child” philosophy--that the teacher is a guide who allows the children to explore where their interests take them and is there to step in and assist as needed. We're not looking for a driven, academic program--more one that encourages a child's natural love of learning by letting him explore what interests him.

Now, there’s a fine line here: I would imagine that in some environments, there is a bit too much freedom, and the kids may end up just focusing on one thing that interests them and getting stuck on that. (I’ve heard of this happening at a particular Montessori school near us, in fact.) And in some environments, the “children like to feel like grown-ups” idea is taken a bit to the extreme, and the kids seem more like well-behaved little robots than like children. (This seemed to be the case with the overly academic Montessori school I toured.) And while we like the idea that kids like to be independent and feel grown up, because we’ve certainly seen that with Theo, we’re also not looking to raise a little obedient robot who just does what he’s told and doesn’t have the natural spirit of a child in him. So as I’ve found, finding a Montessori school that strikes the perfect balance of what you want can be a challenge. And we won’t know whether we’ve found it until we try it, but I have to say that I got a great impression from Myrtle Farm. It just seemed to be run with the exact combination of factors that we were looking for.

So what was the catch? Well, there was only one spot left in the program, and there was another family ahead of us who was considering it. We were first in line after them, though.

Funny small-world coincidence: Luna had been having some poop accidents in the house, and the morning I got up for my great preschool tour, I nearly stepped in a particularly icky one. I decided it was time to call the vet, since this is very out of character for Luna. So shortly before I arrived at Myrtle Farm for my first tour of the day, I called Luna’s vet and made an appointment for the next day for her. I then went in for my tour, and in talking to the director, she said, “Oh, you’re from Roseville? My daughter-in-law Kelly works there. She’s a vet tech at a place called Bird and Pet Clinic of Roseville. Do you know it?” Um, do I know it?? I have spent way too much money there over the years--it’s been our vet for 12 years! My jaw dropped open, and I said, “Not only do I know it, I literally called them half an hour ago to make an appointment for my sick dog. What a strange coincidence!”

Anyway, I arrived home after 12 hours of driving and looking at preschools exhausted but optimistic. Until Chris told me Luna had been sick twice with diarrhea. But still…not really a big deal. I went about the evening, figuring it was no big deal since I had an appointment for her the next day anyway.

Um…wrong. It quickly exploded into a big deal. And I mean “exploded.” She started having uncontrollable diarrhea all over the house. (Usually she can make it outside as long as we’re home to let her out if she has any sort of GI issue.) I called the vet (and talked to Kelly, of all people!), and she said as long as there was no blood, we were okay to wait until morning to bring her in. Within half an hour, there was blood. And poop everywhere. Our house looked like something out of a horror movie--and by then, the vet was closed for the night. And as if that weren’t bad enough, our homebuyers were due to show up in 11 hours for their walkthrough and home inspection! I frantically got Luna in the car and left Chris to steam-clean the entire house--there was poop and blood in literally every room except the master bedroom. Theo had to stay up late while Chris steamed the carpet, and I had to sit in the emergency vet, starving (I hadn't eaten since lunch) and worried as heck about my pug!

I finally got home after 10pm, having left Luna to have some tests run and to get some fluids. The vet called at 11:30pm and said they’d keep her overnight to run tests and keep her hydrated. The cost? $1,000. OUCH!

So the next morning, the buyers and their inspectors showed up bright and early, and luckily the carpet was lovely because of Chris’s hard work at steam-cleaning it. I had to leave in the middle of the inspection to go transport Luna from the emergency hospital to her regular vet, but my Mom was able to stay with the inspectors and watch Theo, so all was well. Our regular vet checked Luna, ran some more tests, and discovered that there was no real obvious cause for her sudden onset of illness. BUT, I also asked him to do a routine urine test while he had her. Luna, as I think I mentioned a few months ago, had bladder stones about six years ago, and because they’re the kind that dogs can re-manufacture throughout their life, we’ve had urine tests done every six months on her to try to catch an infection before it turns to stones. (Because once it’s stones, it requires $1,000 worth of surgery.) When Dr. Forney last ran the test in August, she had a bladder infection. So he treated her and recommended that we retest in December. Because we’ll be moved by then and I’m not sure I will have established with a new vet by then, I asked him to just run the test early, while he had her. Guess what? Another bladder infection! He was rather shocked that she’d have one again so soon. That makes two of us…and it makes me very glad I asked him to run it. And actually, I feel better about having spent $1,300 on emergency and regular vet bills over the past week, because even though the diarrhea turned out to have no known cause, if I hadn’t had her in and had him check her urine, we would’ve been looking at bladder stones in the future, along with a very expensive (and perhaps too risky for her age) surgery.

Anyway, Luna stayed with Dr. Forney on Thursday and Friday nights while Chris, Theo, and I went down to the Bay Area for our rental tour, and Zoe stayed with my Mom. And because we needed more stress, we found out Thursday afternoon that a vital piece of paperwork needed to close our house is missing…and the company who should’ve issued it is long since out of business. I will spare you the details (because they’re boring and involved), but suffice it to say that if our realtor can’t get this straightened out, it could mean bad things for our so-far-very-easy short sale. :-(

But we set aside our worries for the rental tour, and Theo had a wonderful time staying with Grandma Kathy and Papa during the day while Chris and I went out with our relocation agent. We spent Friday on the Peninsula (the area just south of San Francisco, where Genentech is located), and we were surprised to find that we can afford a FEW options there. Not many, but a few. Which is actually more than we thought.

On Saturday, we went to the East Bay with our relocation agent, where our choices are more plentiful but the commute is much longer for Chris. (We’re talking 90 minutes each way instead of 30 minutes each way--although he can take public transit, which means he at least isn’t doing the driving himself. And in fact, Genentech actually pays for his transit and pays him not to drive in, which is a nice little extra bonus.)

We found a fantastic house up in Clayton, which is in the East Bay, near Walnut Creek and Concord for those of you at all familiar with the area. In short, it’s pretty much perfect for us…except for the commute. It also happens to be located within a mile of the fabulous Myrtle Farm preschool I found for Theo! We also saw a lovely prison we could rent for the low, low price of $2,400/month. It was built of cinderblocks, and the owner never bothered to put plaster or anything over them. So yes--the bedrooms are all made of cinderblocks. It is so unbelievably depressing. I joked to Chris and Andrea (our relocation agent) that I’d have to pipe in Johnny Cash singing “Folsom Prison Blues” all day if we lived there!

After two days of house hunting, we went back to San Jose late Saturday afternoon to gather up Theo and have dinner with Grandma K and Papa, and then we drove the 150 miles home. We arrived at 10:30pm, exhausted and vowing not to drive again on Sunday.

But then Sunday came along, and I found a house for rent in Foster City (12 miles from Genentech) that was open and being shown on Sunday only. Given how quickly rental properties in the Peninsula go, we figured we ought to go look. So we drove 130 miles down to Foster City with a crabby Theo, who by then had developed diarrhea. The house turned out to be very nice--very small, but functional. The commute would be so much better for Chris! We were excited and filled out an application. And then we drove 130 miles home with Mr. Crabby Pants (not that I blame him--it had been a long weekend, and he had diarrhea and either allergies or a cold). On the way, we started debating our options. Foster City is very close to Genentech and is a very nice city. But the house was quite small (and there was nothing else in the area we could afford), and we’d pay $600 extra per month to live in Foster City over the East Bay.

So then you take the East Bay: We have a couple house choices, including the excellent one in Clayton. And we have the excellent preschool. And we both really like the East Bay. And it’s conveniently located right between both of our families--about 90 minutes from mine and about 60 minutes from Chris’s. (Foster City is about 30 minutes from Chris’s family, which is great--but it’s more than two hours from mine, which is kind of a bummer. Not a deal breaker, but it’s nice to be right between the two.) And we’d save $600/month over Foster City--which is not insignificant, given how tight our budget is. But there’s the commute. So…what to do, what to do….

But I’m pleased to say that we made a decision. Theo got the coveted last spot in the Myrtle Farm preschool (woohoo!!), and Chris decided he would rather live in the East Bay and deal with the commute than live in Foster City. (There’s nothing at all wrong with Foster City--we just prefer the East Bay in general because it's a bit slower paced, and the cost savings is significant.) So, in 10 days, we will be relocating to the East Bay! Either the house in Clayton or another one in Walnut Creek--not sure which yet. (We’re already approved for the Clayton house and waiting to hear on the Walnut Creek one. The Clayton one is a better fit for us in terms of size and living space, but the Walnut Creek one shortens the horrible commute by 15 minutes. So we shall see…. Both are in very nice neighborhoods and would suit us well.)

So, there’s the news! I didn’t get a chance to take pictures this week, but I DID take one of Theo dressed up for Halloween (he was a trick-or-treating junkie--unstoppable!). I’m also including a fun one of Theo’s first school picture. I think you’ll all get a laugh out of it. :-)

Last but not least, the weekly Garbanzo update: The baby is now about a pound and a half and 8 ½ inches long (the size of a piece of paper!). His little face is almost fully formed, though he will spend the rest of the pregnancy putting on fat, among other developments. And for me, morning sickness seems to have come back. Not too bad, but I do find myself nauseated for periods of time almost every day. Ah well, only about 14 more weeks or so!